Monday, November 12, 2012

my comfort cardigan



I finished it.  My first adult-sized knit cardigan.  I started this project in early October with some early birthday money that my dad gave me.  The hub took me to a local yarn shop (turns out it wasn't as local as I thought) and I bought 5 skeins of this Dried Plum Berroco Vintage yarn.  This was an exciting project for me all around because it was only about my second time at a real yarn shop and my first time buying more than 2 skeins of yarn at once.

I am also happy with myself because this is the first project since we lost Timmy that I didn't cry after I was finished.  I think that I would cry because I felt like all the time that I spent while I was knitting, being content just to sit there with my needles and work on a project while my mind steadily analyzed my feelings, was just a waste of time.  I was happy while the project was in progress, but once I was finished it didn't change anything.  I still missed my little boy and there was nothing I could do to make the raw pain go away.

But this time I didn't cry.  This time I was so excited to have a cardigan that I knit myself.  I've been wearing it every day with a smile since I finished.  It was quite a surprise to me that I actually felt happy to be done.  I expected the sadness to rush in again and overtake my accomplishment, but it didn't this time.  I am grateful to my glorious Lord for providing me this strength and filling me with peace.  I decided to make this cardigan to comfort to myself.  Whenever I wear it I will think of Timmy.  Whenever I want to think of Timmy, I will wear it.


I used the free Buttony pattern on Ravelry for this cardigan.  The asymmetrical button band adds interested to an otherwise boring stockinette cardigan.  I love that it fits me just right because it was made just for me.  I was able to try it on while I worked so I could make sure that I had my measurements just right.

I tried to add a stockinette neck to the top, but it just didn't look right.  I couldn't get the moss stitch that I included on the very top to lay properly, so I folded the neck over and stitched it in place.  This gave me a taylored collar kind of look and I love it.

It has been a lovely and peaceful birthday.  I hope Timmy is smiling at me today.  I love you, pumpkin.
 
 

yarn name: Berroco Vintage
yarn type: 50% acrylic, 40% wool, 10% nylon
colorway: Dried Plum
yardage: ~900 yards worsted

needle size: US 8 (5.0mm) circular and double-pointed